I'm pretty excited as I write this post and think I have successfully finished my first week of treatment. I'm even more excited that I don't have to be up at 5 or 6 am tomorrow to get to the hospital.
Overall I think I'm doing pretty well, but I am definitely tired. Last night I was too tired to stay up and write a post, and I've slept a good portion of today. I'm pretty sure I have mentioned that I was warned ahead of time that Fridays/Saturdays will most likely be my hard days...when the chemo nausea really hits.
It did. I actually woke up at 3:45 am feeling miserable. I got up went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face and then crawled back into bed until about 6:15. This left me about 15 minutes to get ready and leave for my radiation appointment this morning.
Yesterday, one of the motors in the machine malfunctioned as I was getting treatment. In other words, the machine couldn't telescope in properly for my treatment so I had to go out to the waiting room and wait for someone to come and fix the machine. I only had two of three zaps to my right hip left to be done, but it took about 45 minutes to get the machine fixed.
Today there were no malfunctions. Everything went smoothly. I was in and out in about 5 minutes. I was done and waiting for the valet to bring my car around by 7:30. It was weird. As I waiting for my car I sat on a bench that I used to sit on all the time waiting to be picked up from work (um, I was chauffeured to work a lot by my wonderful husband). I watched familiar faces walk out of the hospital ready to go home and go to sleep including some of my old co-workers and friends.
I ended up talking with some of them for quite awhile. It was wonderful to see them and to be able to talk face to face and to physically hug them. They have all been following along with this saga and my big regret is that I didn't get to hear more about what was going on with each of them. I miss them and I miss the interaction with them.
It's odd to talk with them from the perspective of being a patient. They understand things I talk about this process in a way most of the people in my life wouldn't...like the staffing ratios of the chemo nurses or how ridiculous it is to try to get from one place to the next in the hospital or why I might want to avoid taking certain meds...but it's weird as I talk because I feel like I'm trying balance being a nurse and a patient and I don't really know where I stand at any given moment right now. I guess if I had to pick I would lean towards the patient side, but I don't like picking that side. It makes me feel vulnerable (which I am), it makes me realize I have no control (which really I don't), and it makes me feel like I don't know enough (which I definitely don't).
Eventually I headed back home. My parents were here to help out yesterday and today and thanks to them I was able to get a few errands done and sleep most of the day. I'm still pretty tired but I am pleased that I didn't have to take any nausea medication. I was also able to enjoy the wonderful pizza dinner given to us by one of my former co-workers.
I can't say enough how about grateful I am to all of our friends and family for supporting us right now. Thanks to everyone we have made it through week 1...We are well fed, have a clean house, have happy kids and puppies and this weekend we are looking forward to just enjoying being together as a family. Thank you!
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