The Best Party of Your Life

Even though it is obvious, I still feel obliged to say this is Geoff. I said I wanted to write some more posts, and tonight it just feels right, almost to the point where I feel compelled to write. Gin used to get like that, where she would say multiple times throughout a given day that she just had to write a blog post because she had things to say and just needed to get them out. Anyway, there are actually about four or five posts I want to write for sure, and we'll see after that. Here's the hard part, the first one takes place over a month ago. It is really a mixed bag for me to think back to Gin's last few healthy days, which is when this takes place. I love the memories, but I miss her so much.

A very special friend of ours talked for awhile about trying to throw us a benefit party. It was a way to draw a close to the season of benefits. We had several other friends who also threw benefits. All of them were wonderful and deeply appreciated. However, this last one will always have extra significance.

What was maybe the most amazing about the last fundraiser is how little we knew about it. Our friend had talked with us and asked us some questions and even occasionally ran some ideas by us, but we didn't give it much thought. Don't get me wrong, its not that we were ungrateful, we just had a lot going on. I think we thought we would get more involved as it became more of a reality.

About the "lot going on" part of that last paragraph, we have to go back a little further. We had many people from our families come and stay with us over the holidays, and overall had a wonderful time. Nonetheless, it was still a lot of house guests, which can be a little draining. Everyone was in a great mood, which certainly made it better. While they were staying with us, Gin was even able to convince her family to dance with us for the music video, which we were not expecting.

What music video you may ask? Well, Gin was inspired to make a music video by another cancer survivor, Megan Kowalewski, who made a music video documenting her cancer treatment to the song "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson. Stronger actually became an anthem of sorts around this house entirely beceause of that video. After awhile, Gin decided to create her own. Then, it because kind of an obsession. She enlisted the help of our personal guru, our amazing NP from the Carbone Cancer Center. We ran the idea by her, she loved it, and really helped us recruit people to be in the video, scouted locations, and did much of the choreography (or elicited advice from people) herself. At appointments, the NP and Gin would talk about the music video significantly longer than they would about anything else, including how Ginny's health was doing and treatment plans. I don't blame them. It was fun and an nice distraction. Eventually, we set a date to actually do it, and decided to use Katy Perry, "Roar." As you can expect, this also became one of our cancer healing anthems.

We shot a lot of the stuff in the chemo unit at the hospital late in December, and the family dancing scenes over the holidays. Gin's family really was fantastic about being involved. Once we had all the footage, along with some photos we had (most notably some taken during out Relay for Life experience earlier in the year), we again enlisted the help of our amazing NP, who in turn enlisted the help of one of her friends, to edit the thing. To cut ahead, it was finished the day Gin was admitted the palliative care in the hospital. I am so glad she was able to see it. I am very proud of it, and I think it came out fantastic. So, without further ado...

So besides music videos and entertaining for the holidays, what else do you do with your time? Oh that's right, you catch babies, go to treatment, deal with sick kids (and sick you). It was a crazy month. Which meant that we got really excited when we realized the fundraiser party was on. They, we heard some of the plans, and it started to sound amazing. We really realized that it was going to be a bigger deal than we were expecting when we started go see signs popping up around businesses in Madison. It was very exciting.

As the day drew near, Gin was feeling a little run down. It got really interesting the Thursday before the party. She was called for a birth Thursday night/early Friday morning, I honestly don't remember which. The baby was born early Friday morning, she came home, and then had to turn around shortly for chemo treatment on Friday with virtually no sleep. Thankfully her mother was there to help get her to and from the hospital. By the time I got home from work, she looked exhausted. We knew we had this party the next day that we really wanted to go to, but we weren't sure if we were going make it. Even the morning of the party, we still weren't sure. Ultimately, we decided we could go to the party for a couple of hours, and then do home early, preserving nap time and our sanity.

Long story short, We went to the party, and never left until it was closed. It was too good to leave. There was music and dancing, and magic, and food and a silent auction, and most importantly, lots of wonderful friends. It was at the High Noon Saloon, so there was always so much going on. There were kids throwing paper airplanes from the balcony, music going on at the main stage, henna tattoos, and lots more that I know I am forgetting. It was probably the most amazing party of our lives.

And that is what Gin and I spent a good chunk of the night talking about - just how amazing it was. It is unfortunately rare that we get together with friends anymore. Marriage and especially kids seem to have that effect on many couples, so I don't think we were unusual in the fact that we just didn't get out as much as we used to. With that in mind, here was a massive outing, with loads of our friends, all in one place, with fantastic entertainment and food. Again, there was the big stuff like the music and dancers, but there were little things that were fantastic as well. Maybe the best example was sitting in the balcony, watching Ella sneakily climb up on a stool at the bar so she could grab a sucker, and then climb back down. I don't even want to think how much sugar both the kids ate that day. Actually, I don't really care. They had a great time as well.

Gin and I both told each other during the party that everyone should have a party of that magnitude for each person at least one time during their life. We (and especially Gin) felt so loved and supported. Gin said several times during the past year that she never wanted to have a funeral/memorial/burial if she were to die (she also said she understands that stuff like that is more for the living than the deceased, so go ahead and have one if that's what we wanted to do, so I don't feel remotely guilty about actually having one). She also said at the party that the party was in many ways her perfect memorial. There were lots of friends, the kids were there, and we had a fantastic time, but unlike a normal memorial, she got to be there as well, and that is what made it the best type of memorial. Don't get me wrong, we didn't think it was depressing like a memorial or anything (I feel like I'm making it worse).

A better way to describe it is that the party was a celebration of life. Gin was very much alive that day, so it could be a pure celebration. I really do hope everyone gets to experience something like that.in their lives, because we left that party feeling so special. We both said the fundraising objective of the party was completely irrelevant, we loved the friends, family, and support that we received. In retrospect, what made it even more meaningful is the fact that it turned out to be Gin's last healthy day. On our way home, she admitted that between the birth, chemo, and the party, she had overdone it. We planned on her going to be as soon as we got home, but on the way home she seemed to keep getting quesier. Shortly after we got home, Gin started throwing up. It was fast enough we initially thought it was food poisoning, but it later proved to be the point where her health really turned for the worse.

Still, I can't help but feel amazed by it all. How many people get to have something like that party thrown in their honor? How many people get to enjoy their last healthy day on this Earth with an epic party? Seriously, that's just bonkers. More than anything, I feel so blessed to be a part of it all.

I'll warn you, the next few posts are going to be a little rough, but I want to share some about how she was doing and how she was feeling at the end. As always, thanks for your support. Much love!