Senioritis

So tomorrow is the big day...

I have waited since my initial diagnosis of cancer for an appointment with my integrative medicine MD. She is the only integrative med MD at UW with an additional focus of oncology. I took the first appointment I could get with her back in July/August and I am hoping it was worth the wait.

I'm curious to see what my appointment is going to be like and what she will have to say. I have had months of hearing how wonderful she is to build up my expectations. It is probably a good thing that   my MRI yesterday showed no cancer; otherwise, I think I would have to expect that my appointment tomorrow would lead to the immediate cessation of any abnormal cell growth. J/k. My expectations are not thhhhhhhaaaat high.

Tumor board review finishes less than an hour before my appointment with her. In other words, I am wondering if I will find out results before my appointment or will I get stuck playing phone tag. I can't even imagine not finding out the plan tomorrow. I thought I would be calm and collected about all of this, but obviously I'm not. There is just too much to think about. I was hoping that I would get the results I did yesterday, but I wasn't expecting anyone to tell me that their recommendation at this point would be to cancel the surgery and just watch.

I have been told from day 1 that even if results were to come back clean, the recommendation would probably be to still do surgery or chemo. Even on my last appointment I was told the same thing. This is only because of the type of cancer I had. Since it is rare and can be aggressive and I'm young, they feel it is best to be aggressive with my treatment (I know I've said all this too many times before...but they always say it to me, so I'll pass it on to you).

Of course I don't want a hysterectomy. NOT. AT. ALL. At the same I don't ever want clear cell adenocarcinoma to take up co-residence with me again. While I am sure all of this will be considered, it is my body/life so I am pretty stressed waiting to find out the final consensus. For now it is just a lot of radical acceptance and distraction with my overbearing load of homework.

On that note, I'm trying so hard to focus...but with everything else going on and a severe case of senioritis it will be a miracle if I pass my test tomorrow!