Black Monday

It's almost 3pm and I am done with today. Really the only good thing I can say about is that in 9 hours it will be done.

The day started with me getting up to help Geoff get E to preschool. E normally only goes to preschool on Thursdays and Fridays, but since there is no preschool during Thanksgiving he was doing a makeup day today. Geoff and I were talking to E about getting dressed at the top of the stairs and suddenly E threw up. And then again and again...So instead of preschool E got another bath and an appointment with the pediatrician.

Of course all of this woke up Ella and this is also the exact time that my mom and brother showed up to help. Which would have been great, but no one knew how to help. Instead everyone seemed to be running in different directions and then Geoff left for work.

The craziness never stopped for me. There were miscommunications and everyone seemed to be generally frustrated. I decided to go to the grocery store to get some pedialyte and white bread for E. I got in the express check out line and put my stuff down on the conveyor belt. As I was digging in my purse for my debit card, the old lady ahead of me was charged for my purchases. Of course no one noticed until the grocery store attendant went to bag the lady's groceries. I looked up and realized those were my purchases and spoke up. The attendant gave me the dirtiest look and was quite exasperated with me. She sent the lady to the service desk for a refund and re-rang my purchases up, this time charging me instead. Somehow though she made it seem like I had tried to steal from the elderly. On my way out, I made sure to apologize to the sweet old lady again, and then I started crying.

I've been doing great with recovery so far, but today I hurt and I don't feel good. Combine that with E and all the insanity of our house and I really just needed a nap. Meanwhile I get home to more insanity. It took until 11am before I was able to sit down and have 2 slices of toast and a glass of juice myself (please note that I had made toast for myself prior to this point but all of my toast was devoured by one of my 2 kids whom had already had their own breakfast and was ready for seconds)...also note: This is why food help makes such a big difference!

So I decided that maybe I would try to take a nap. I went upstairs and made the mistake of checking my email. Last Friday I decided to apply for a few positions at UW. I am currently still employed by Watertown, but I have no position and there aren't any OB/Gyn positions posted. In fact, there are only 2 positions posted total and I have no urge to work in Float pool or their general floor. I've missed UW and after being a patient these last few months I have renewed respect so I was pretty excited and optimistic about applying. Apparently I was delusional because I got a mass rejection letter in my email today. I called to talk to the HR person and was transferred to voicemail so I left a message and decided instead to mess around with my iPad.

Yesterday E deleted most of the main icons on my iPad...such as the Safari, Email, Music, Videos, in addition to Facebook (and recently YouTube). It was annoying but I restored most everything so I decided to really try for a nap. 10 minutes later in walks Geoff to take E to his pediatrician appointment.

I declared I was going to stay home and sleep since I was cold, achy, nauseous...Geoff agreed, but E threw an epic temper-tantrum. He screamed "I WANT MOMMY!!!!" loud enough that I probably don't even have to tell you this part. For everyone's sake I reconsidered my nap and away we went leaving Ella with Grandma (and uncle Kevin).

At the pediatrician's office E wanted me to hold him or pick him up. He knows I can't carry him right now, but that doesn't always matter. I feel terrible and so does Geoff, but E only seems to want what he can't have. I'm sure everyone else listening to us is wondering why that mom refuses to pick up her child, but whatever.

As soon as the pediatrician entered the room, UW HR called. I quietly excused myself and went outside to talk. As it turns out they really won't consider me for the pediatric positions I applied for because I have no prior pediatric experience and most any other position they won't consider me for because I'm in midwifery school and they figure I'm going to leave them in a year or so. Basically my only option is to call my former manager and ask him if he would consider rehiring me. So I started crying again.

I pulled myself back together and went back inside. Before I even got to E's exam room I heard him screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO! I NEED MOMMY!!! I NEED MOMMY!!!" I entered to find the pediatrician trying to listen to his heart through her stethoscope. She may now be deaf.

Her suspicion is E has some horrible version of the flu going around. She figures he may be over the worst of it and she gave us a list of foods to not give him, but most everything else is fair game. We'll see about that. Maybe we will wait to try expanding food choices until we have a clean rag towel in our house. Currently the other 300 towels are covered in vomit or in the laundry.

Had enough yet? So had I.

E threw more temper tantrums leaving the clinic and even more on the way home. Btw, this is not at all normal for him. He screamed the whole way home about wanting to go to the park and yelled at us to "stop the car! stop the car right now!" Then we got home and the drama continued over removing his shoes and jacket. He yelled at Geoff "Daddy you need to go back to work! Go!" *eye roll* None of us were impressed. My mother chimes in that this is how he has been treating her and that he doesn't seem to love her anymore. I know it's hard to be targeted by the bullying of a 3 year old, but I just can't calm him down and reassure adults right now. I was ready to cry again.

So my phone rings.

I look at the clock and of course, it's 2pm. Time for my conference call the with director of the midwifery program at my school. As I have mentioned before ALL of my professors want me to take an emergency academic hiatus. I have refused profusely, but this week my adviser and another professor finally wore me down. I agreed to consider it. It isn't what I wanted, but I'm so tired and stressed that I decided maybe it is for the best. I agreed to it. Paperwork is done and submitted and crying has recommenced.

So now I don't have cancer, but I'm on a medical leave from my job, but I don't actually have a position at my job. My former employer has nearly 80 positions available to external candidates, but I don't qualify for many and the rest they won't consider me for because I am in midwifery school. Except I'm not actually in midwifery school at the moment because everything thinks I need a break to deal with my health. Meanwhile I can't get a break because my sick 3 year old demon wants all my time and attention or screams at the top of his lungs and throws up.

So back to what I said before...only 8.5 hours until today is done. Both kids are currently sleeping and hopefully soon I will be too...except I think I'm going to keep sleeping until tomorrow. It's not like I have anything to get up for...no school...no job...and a whole lot of self-pity....scratch that, I need to get up and eat some of the amazing food from yesterday, but then I'm going back to bed before I start contemplating working at McDonalds or a gas station (not that those aren't valid jobs, but considering all my years of school and experience...I feel pretty crappy!)