Our weekend in pictures

Ella playing piano at the Children's Museum while the rest of us worked on hats for the "Capitol Kids Easter Bonnet Parade"

Ella, Ephraim and Uncle Graeme (Geoff's brother)

Geoff with his (and Ella's) creation

Aunt Christie modeling her (and Ephraim's) creation...possibly inspired by the children's book "I Want My Hat Back"

The kids with the Easter Bunny

Baby goat and lamb! Love! Love! Love!

An adorable friend of ours

Another adorable friend of ours

Uncle Graeme, E, Geoff, Aunt Christie

baby chicks

Ella napping during the parade

A little while later...back at the Children's Museum

E looking at baby chicks (with a band-aid on his chin)

...and a snake

Me holding the snake

The two of us holding a mouse

Easter morning...

...after 5 clues and many eggs...the kids found what the Easter Bunny left for them

At church E sang up in front

Later...we needed a snuggle

and I needed a nap

Ella in her Easter dress

Funeral home

Geoff took his lunch break today to go with E and I to the cancer center for a lab draw (Ella was at daycare). As I was driving I noticed a funeral home and said "I never really noticed before how many of those are around...they are everywhere...and they really bother me."
Geoff agreed that it has to be unsettling and then to break the heaviness of the mood I pointed to a George Washington memorialesque type grave marker in the attached cemetery and said "you know I expect nothing less than that someday."
Geoff laughed.
I continued on..."actually it needs to be a lot bigger and it should have jewels encrusted in it."
"Rhinestones?"
"Of course not! Precious stones only."
Then we turned the corner and drove past a cemetery marker store and I saw a headstone with a bunch of running horses and I started laughing even harder.
"Those, I want those too...and you may as well throw some quote about me being a wonderful wife and mother."
Then we both laughed some more.

We try to take ourselves too seriously.

Free flow

Most of the time when I write a blog post I have an idea ahead of time of what I want to write about. These past few days I haven't been able to focus on any single thought or coherent series of thoughts. Two nights ago this was ok because I fell asleep before the kids and Geoff wrote my blog post for me. Last night I was really tired and just couldn't think of what I wanted to write about so I convinced Geoff to watch another episode of Downton Abbey (he wanted to watch too but we should have been sleeping) and we vegged out instead.

I was half looking forward to today and half dreading it. I was excited because it was the first time in what seems like a long time that I had just E home with me. Don't get me wrong, I missed Ella too, but E has always been that kid that can entertain himself for long periods of time and takes gloriously long naps. Ella is more into trying little bits of everything and power naps. Add her new passion for climbing and throwing things when she doesn't get her way and well, I was excited for an easy day.

I made the mistake of telling E last night and he was really excited too. So excited he stayed up well past his bedtime singing and talking to himself and his stuffed menagerie about all the fun we were going to have today. I promised to play trains and do crafts and anything else he wanted to do.

The only catch was I needed to preserve energy so I could handle both kids by myself in the evening while Geoff was teaching. Normally this would seem like not too big of a deal but the kids can be a bit of a wild card these days, as can my energy level.

As it turns out, today was pretty much perfect. E and I did play trains. We did crafts yesterday with Ella and he decided he wanted to play instead today. He played with me and without me and I took the opportunity to hang up some pictures in our bedroom while he was playing. Then he and I hung up a little shelf for some of his trains in his room before nap time. He ate everything I made him for lunch and was essentially the perfect child. Then he napped.

I thought he would be up by 4, but he wasn't so he missed our special visitors of the day. We had dinner brought to us by someone I took doula training with a few years back. She brought her two adorable children with her and I fell madly in love with her babe that I have been Facebook stalking the past few months. Seriously, I am just drawn to this little guy, and her daughter is everything I want Ella to grow up to be.

It was a wonderful visit. We talked and both cried. The birth world is a small world. Much smaller than I ever realized when I took my doula training course in 2011. At the time I had just had a devastating miscarriage that made me realize that it was my calling to "be with women." It's funny because midwifery was the original reason I went to nursing school, but then I fell in love with cardiac nursing. When I had my miscarriage everything changed and by the time I was pregnant with Ella a month later I had taken doula training and enrolled in a statistics class so I could apply to midwifery school in a few months.

The doula training was a weekend workshop here in Madison. I hoped to make some friends but I never could have guessed the impact some of these other women would have on my future life. What really gets me is that I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with my friend from today but I am just drawn to her. I could say so much more on this but I fear I'm sounding too much like a stalker.

Regardless one of the sweetest things she did was bring some toys that her children were gifted by someone else and had outgrown. E was very excited when he woke up from his nap and found new toys...Ella hasn't even gotten to play with them.

Geoff brought Ella home from daycare before heading off to teach. I immediately packed her and E back up and we headed out to the stable. Our lovely dinner that was delivered tonight is to be our dinner tomorrow night because it was decided earlier today that if I brought the kids out to the barn with me, a couple of my friends would meet me there, we would order a pizza, and then groom Aggie.

This turned out to a really fun way to spend the evening. E and Ella helped shut the chickens in for the night. E and I practiced walking one of the little ponies. Then the kids played in the barn aisle...E rode his bike and Ella played ball. We had dinner upstairs in the "party loft" and then the kids brushed the tractor (their idea not mine) while the rest of us furminated/deshedded/groomed Aggie. In the end I left with two very tired and dirty kids and a very clean and gorgeous horse. We headed home straight to the bathtub and then to bed.

The big, beautiful, full moon was the icing on the cake...well, that and the deer and raccoon I saw from a safe distance while driving home. Now Geoff is home and its time for us to snuggle into bed too.

Sleeping Beauty

Hi, this is Geoff. I am writing tonight because Gin is fast asleep. So, what happened today? Well, Gin had a CPR class this morning, and of course, getting out of the house didn't go quite as smoothly as planned, so she showed up a little late. UW was less than understanding of her current situation (and our saboteur children) and told her she needed to reschedule. Bummer for Gin, but this did mean that she had some extra time this morning, so she stopped by and saw me at work. This was a joy, and we both took the opportunity to thank my supervisor for her tremendous understanding through this process.

Gin then returned home, spend a little time with her mother (who was kindly watching E&E while Gin was supposed to be at class) and then tried to get them down for naps. There was a particular sense of urgency since she was feeling quite tired by this stage. Again, our lovely saboteurs made sure not to sleep at the same time, so we actually had a babysitter come over so Gin could try and nap. A friend of ours then came over with dinner. I got home sometime around here, and we had a nice evening together. Gin did a bath for the kids and then asked if she could lie down while I put them to bed. Next thing I know, she is out cold. This is great, because she really needs to keep on top of sleep (we both do), so she can keep her energy up. So far, we really feel blessed by how good she has felt. We attribute a lot of it to the positive vibes/prayers from friends and family, so thanks for that. On that note, I think I will follow suit. Goodnight!

Sunshine

I didn't write a blog post last night because I didn't know what to say. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to say...It was more that I had too much to say.

For the most part staying positive has come easily to me. There are times where it is a struggle and I have to constantly redirect my thoughts, but overall, it just feels right.

The funny part is, I don't think I give enough credit to Geoff for his part in all of this. With him being gone for a mere 48 hours I realized I don't have my constant reassurance. He called me yesterday to tell me he was walking on the beach in San Diego and let me listen to the sound of the ocean over the phone. I was so jealous. If my eyes weren't already green, they would have been. Ooooh, I could hear it alright, and I could smell it, and I could feel the sand between my toes...I could feel the sun and hear the people...and it hurt. Even now it makes me cry.

I'm glad he was there and he was getting to enjoy it, but I fear I lost it a little and wrecked some of the joy he was getting his experience. This makes me feel miserable and selfish...It just was so hard for me though. I love the ocean and the mountains and I feel like every once in awhile I need to visit either or both of these to regroup. I know Geoff feels the same way. We've had this conversation so many times...

Then he sent me a couple of pics. All I could think of was our last big vacation to Australia to visit Geoff's grandparents. I was pregnant with Ella and E was almost exactly Ella's age now. We spent most of that vacation on the beach and it was glorious. I kept wondering will I ever get back there? Will I get to walk on any beach with my family again? Will I be too much of a burden or too sick to travel? Will I ever get to make sand castles with my kids? Will I get to see them try swimming in the ocean or surfing for the first time? Am I being selfish because I want it all and I've already had so much? Will Geoff ever be able to enjoy a beach again if something does happen to me or will it be as painful for him as it is for me right now?

It was like every dark thought that I have been trying to suppress hit me at once. I was overwhelmed and didn't know how to work through it because the one person that knows all my deep, dark fears and always has the words to make it better, was busy. At first I didn't want to bug him, then I decided I should try and talk to him, but it didn't matter his cell phone wasn't charged and we couldn't talk.

Eventually I caved and called Geoff's parents cell phone and got in touch with him that way. We made plans to talk when he got back to his hotel. In the end though, we didn't have long to talk. He needed to get ready for his brother's wedding and I had two monkeys waking up from naps. Regardless it helped. He made it all better and I am more determined than ever to get better myself. I have too many places to see and things to do. I want to help others get to these places (whereever they may be) too. There is simply no other way.

In the end, it sounds like Geoff had a wonderful time at the wedding and we had a great night here at home. One of my old co-workers from UW Hospital came to visit with her daughter. We ate pizza and chatted. E and Ella basked in the glory of all the attention from them and grandma and radiated smiles. How can you go wrong with that? The way I see it, I got my own little priceless piece of sunshine.

The (temporary) new me

Mindfulness has not been my greatest strength today.

I woke up this morning knowing it is the day that I scheduled my hair donation, Geoff is leaving for a weekend in CA, and a few other things I just didn't want to do or deal with.

The hair thing was a difficult line because Geoff and I agreed that we wanted to do it with our little family. We wanted the kids to be a part of it, mostly for them, partly for us. It just seemed like it might be easier for everyone.

Furthermore, my hair started to come out on it's own this morning. I left it alone, but eventually I couldn't resist one last soak in the tub with my hair swirled all around me. Then Geoff came home from working a half day, picked all of us up and we were off.

I put a sneak peak of these pics on Facebook, but not the final version so here goes...A special thanks to Jackie Litscher from New Concepts Salon.

Jackie did an amazing job as always...and is taking care of the actual donation to Locks of Love...Meanwhile, back at the ranch...I was greeted warmly...

and there you have it...the new me (for the time being anyway)...

The Switch

Today's chemo went off without a hitch. Due to the craziness of schedule changes we ended up taking Miss Ella with us, but even that was fine. We brought "colors" (special markers that only color on special paper, and crayons), a few little toys, and some snacks and she was a happy camper. She even fell asleep in her stroller about halfway through.

On our way home we stopped to pick up the ornaments Geoff and I made in our glass blowing class last weekend. They aren't perfect, but we are pleased with them. Some look like colorful little pickles, but honestly I think we both kind of liked these best. We also made one other quick stop to exchange a dog leash for our yard that we bought last week and had already broke. Then Geoff dropped Ella and I off at home and headed for work.

I figured since Ella had already taken a nap, that I probably wasn't going to get another one from her, yet I was cautiously optimistic that maybe her last few nights of poor sleep from the double ear infection would cause her to need a "catch up" day. Ya, I was wrong. She felt more compelled to climb and get into everything. Suddenly I realized the switch has turned. It's not bad, but I'm tired. I'm starting to feel like maybe I had a little chemo this week. I remember this gradual sneak through of no energy and maybe, just maybe a titch of nausea.

In the end I decided to bring a snack cup, a sippy cup of juice, some books and other toys and put Ella in her crib. I turned on some music for her (Ella loves to rock out...no joke) and I took the opportunity to take a little cat nap (with a cat of course)...Thanks for the suggestion, mom. I needed it and I have to go pick up E in a few minutes from preschool, but now I can be a happy, good mom again instead of an overtired and frustrated one.

Meanwhile Ella seems to have had a good time messing with the arsenal of toys that tend to be reserved for her crib. So it was truelly a win-win. I'm a little sad to say good-bye to my wonderful energy levels, but it was inevitable and I also know that it is only temporary. Besides, once I get E home and Geoff comes home I can take some more nausea medication and I wouldn't be surprised if that makes the difference for the rest of today.

The greatest part of my day though was that Oompa toys, an online toy retailer that used to have a  store based in Madison honored a my request for a discount on a doll house I fell in love with a few days ago.

http://www.oompa.com/item/JHP-DH-ALL-SEAS-FURN-E3401/Hape-All-Season-Dollhouse-Furnished/1.html

It wasn't something that really fits into our budget (or lack there of, really) right now, but everytime I volunteer at E's preschool he loves playing with the doll houses there with the other kids and Ella always gravitates towards them too. Furthermore, we are getting the area in our living room that had flood damage this past year finally finished and the colors matched the play area perfectly.

I decided to suck it up and explain our situation. The unfurnished version of the dollhouse was on sale, so I asked if they would consider if they giving us a deal on the furnished version instead because otherwise we couldn't afford to buy anything to put in it. They were very kind and honored it as a rare, special circumstance request. It makes me feel special to know that my kids are getting a much deserved surprise. All of this has been hard on them. E asks me everyday if I am going to the doctor and talks about it all the time at preschool. I know they will love it and I love Oompa for making this special request possible.

Chemo week 1 (again)

I am done with 2 of my 3 days of chemo this week and I'm feeling great. I was really surprised to find that I was a functional human being last night until Geoff sheepishly reminded me that it isn't until the weekend when everything goes out the window. He's right of course. It all came back to me very quickly.

I've had significantly less side pain since starting the chemo yesterday so I'm optimistic that it is already helping. I've had some nausea and fatigue, but so far I've been able to keep ahead of it all with the anti-nausea pharmacy I have in my house. I was really pleased when I got I received a prescription of 8 mg Zofran instead of the usual 4 mg yesterday. Now I have options. Of course, I already had a variety of options, so I shouldn't act like I didn't have options before.

I decided to take benadryl with my chemo yesterday and I'm proud to announce that I am back to my full-fledged light weight status. I made it a whole 40 minutes before I was out cold for the next few hours. When I did wake up it was because I had to go to the bathroom IMMEDIATELY, like yesterday. Then I fell right back to sleep and didn't wake up until I had to go to the bathroom "yesterday" again. In other words, I had a great nap.

Before falling asleep Geoff and I started watching Downton Abbey. It's been on our list of things to watch for awhile, so this was the perfect time to start. Of course we are both hooked now, so it's our new chemo date distraction. We watch and knit. We also ordered a lunch tray to share. It wasn't anyone's idea of a dream date, but it was pretty nice if you ask me. About as good as a chemo treatment can get...well, unless I make my own chemo music video...that would be fun too.

The 72 hour IV didn't even make it 5 minutes. My first IV was placed in what I would say is a more advanced spot on my left arm to make it less intrusive to my daily life. Unfortunately it blew nearly immediately. I had another placed when I finally got to chemo, but that one was pretty sucky too. It's funny because I am an amazingly easy poke. Just bad luck I guess, but not a big deal. Today I had a perfect little IV in my right hand and then had it removed as soon as I was done with it. Tomorrow I'll probably do the same.

When I had my first IV placed in lab yesterday they also took labs from it. Unfortunately not all of these labs processed properly so we ended up getting a delayed start by about 3 hours while the chemo treatment area waiting on said labs. In the end they needed to take a new sample.

Geoff and I passed the time in the waiting area knitting, talking to the people around us, and playing with the art therapy supplies. This week the project was to make "trading cards" or magnets. Think little greeting cards/magnets that you decorate with fancy papers, ribbons, stickers, stamps, drawings, whatever and trade with other people to cheer each other up. They were cute, fun, and a nice little distraction for the time being.

I also met my first fellow cervical cancer friend. She was very nice and fun to talk to. She has been through so much more than me and I left feeling a sense of awe at her strength. We traded numbers and emails and vowed to keep our eyes open for each other.

And that was my first chemo day in a nut shell. The crazy part began after we left. We realized it was about 4 hours later than we had expected and we had about an hour and half to pick both kids up from different places that are approximately 20 minutes away from each other (one by Geoff's work and one by our house), and the dogs (situated mostly in between). Of course it takes time at each place, so we barely made it with about 2 minutes to spare.

Then when we got home Geoff did a quick dinner with two very over-tired and fussy kids while I soaked in the tub. Just as I was finishing up one of our pastors called and asked if it would be ok to stop by. I spent some time talking with her downstairs while E had a full-fledged meltdown on Geoff. Geoff was very patient and helped E through it, but it was pretty epic. I think all the shuffling around of the last few days finally took it's toll on E. When I was done with our pastor I headed up to help out Geoff and I noticed Ella was a little fussy too. I randomly decided to take a quick peek in her ears. I really didn't expect to see anything, but sure enough bright red and pussy/wax. Geoff and Ella headed off to Urgent Care to find that Ella did indeed have a double ear infection. Meanwhile, I read stories to an overtired E and tucked him into bed. He was asleep about 10 seconds after I finished reading to him.

Tonight they are a little better, but I'm still fighting to get Ella to sleep. She is tired, but she is fussy and doesn't want to put her head down. Poor girl. Since I don't have her to sleep, I still don't have E tucked in so it feels a little like I'm failing. I know he won't be hard, once I finally get Ella down. It makes me appreciate how much nicer it is when both of us are home to help each other. Tonight is Geoff's first night teaching math at ITT Tech so we'll see how it all goes.

Meanwhile today was complicated with both kids once again being in different places and one of our dogs having a UTI and ear infection :(. We dropped her off at the vet before chemo, picked E up on our way home, then took him home for a nap, Geoff went back to work (normal job), and at 4:15 I got up from nap, picked up our pup and was supposed to meet Geoff to trade off Ella, but he made it all the way home before I could get out of the vet clinic. Hopefully next week will be easier in all respects.

Next chemo week, we are planning to have my mom come stay with us Tuesday-Thursday to make things flow better and not have as much craziness. We'll see how that goes.

My favorite part of the day was my chemo nurses. The main one I had is one that I've known from the beginning and the other one that came in to say hi was my first chemo nurse from way back last August. At that time she was pregnant and now she has a 3 mo bambino. It was so nice to see her, though it would have been better to see her at Target or something. They really made my day though. It always makes such a big difference when you get such personalized care. They remember us talking about our kids, and they remembered that I was in midwifery school, etc. etc.

I'm not so secretly hoping I get one of them tomorrow too. Regardless I can't believe round 1 is already almost done. It's been such a whirlwind. A week ago yesterday I had a biopsy and this Friday I am donating my hair. All of it. I think it will be ok, but I remember way back when I started this blog I wrote a post about potentially losing my hair and I found that I had more unresolved feelings about the idea of hair loss than I thought. I guess we'll have to wait and see, but I suspect I'll be tough because we are intentionally taking the kiddos with us so we can explain and not shock them. Then we have a few hours to snuggle and hold each other before Geoff flies out to CA for the weekend for his brother's wedding.

One more thing...I have to thank one of our friend's for saving our night with a delivery of Chipotle for me and  the kids. Thank you, it really hit the spot! The particularly amazing part of this was that her night was insanely hectic and she wasn't able to cook what she planned and instead of asking to do another night (which would have worked just fine) she still brought us Chipotle from Madtown. Thank you Heather! xoxo

The Plan

The appointment today went well...Our super awesome NP emailed me last night to let me know that she wasn't going to be there today. Her husband and midwife convinced her it was time to start her maternity leave. Although I missed her and it wasn't the same without her, I agree, it was the right thing to do.

So my gyn-oncologist is this super upbeat friendly guy. He's a funny character and instead of making a big happy show when he walked in the room today, he came in with a purpose. He greeted both of us, shook our hands, and then kind of pushed up his sleeves, and said something about it being time to put on our armor and go to battle. He asked if I was ready and when I wanted to start. I said "tomorrow. Seriously, tomorrow." His response, "ok. I'll check the schedule."

There was a little more than that, but that was the biggest part. Then we talked about the schedule. Tomorrow I will start with "Cis-topo" treatment.

So I will once again battle it out with Cisplatin, but this time it will be a higher dose. On one hand I inwardly groan at the idea of more Cisplatin because I know I will be sick, really sick, but on the other hand, I have an idea of what that sick will be like and I know what to do (chemo, run an errand or two, pick up kids, more anti-nausea meds and benadryl, hot bath, doze while soaking in the tub a bit, and then move to heating pad and heated blanket with a bucket by the bed).

I will also have the Topotecan, or "topo" tomorrow. This medication kills cancer cells by messing up the cancer cell's growth cycle and this is the med that will make me lose my hair. Both meds can make my blood counts drop.

In addition to the combo/cocktail tomorrow, I will have more topo on Wednesday and again on Thursday. Jealous,  yet? I bet! Then in three weeks we start it all over again and we will do this for 6 cycles. About half way through, so about mid May there will be another PET scan to see how it is going. As long as the lymph nodes are the same or smaller we will continue with this treatment plan, and if they increase we will go to plan B.

So plan B. That was the best part of all of this...Geoff and I are doing so well at being optimistic, but at the same time we both shared our concerns that we were going to get to the appointment today and not have options. Instead there were options and they sound good. Well, maybe not good, but you know what I mean.

I'm excited to start chemo again tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to how it is going to make me feel, but I'm just going to keep telling myself over and over that my body heals quickly and that the cancer is dying. It will all be ok.

I've already been asked a bunch of times today about whether or not I'm going to get another port. At this time, I am not. Last time I requested it thinking it would make my life easier and it didn't. It was much more uncomfortable than I ever imagined and in the end I think I dreaded having my port accessed just as much as any of the treatments. I have pretty good veins for IV sticks and as long as I can stay hydrated and keep those veins we should be able to stay away from a port. Better yet, since I have my chemo cycles in 3 day spurts and a peripheral IV is good for 72 hours, the current plan is we will try to wrap up my iv from Tuesday each time and use it for all three days.

What else to tell you? Let's see...I can actually palpate one of the lymph nodes. I knew where it was because it was causing me a little discomfort. I don't see this as an overly terrible thing because I have always been pretty in tune with my body. The first time around I could literally feel a pinching sensation on my cervix, so this really is no surprise. I am kind of in awe of it because it is like I get to actually gauge it myself now. I know where one is. I know what it feels like now. I get to visualize it being destroyed by tiny fighter jets or to visualize it shrinking and shrinking until voila! nothing to worry about anymore.

I think nerves and anxiety have been doing a good job of creeping in and increasing the overall general discomfort and nausea, but today I was able to eat like a normal person...Well, a normal person with really good, high quality protein and well-accounted for food. One of my favorite parts of the food today was I tried raw milk for the first time and it was AMAZING! I happily drank two glasses. I feel so blessed that someone shared this with me. I've given up soda (except a glass or two of Sprite to ease my stomach), many processed foods, a lot of added sugars, and I'm trying to drink water like crazy because I know how quickly the hydration will go. I've also added a lot of old favorite green teas back into the mix.

The rest of the day continued to feel like a blessing. I almost want to thank Ella for waking me last night. I feel so loved and blessed-there is no other way to describe it. Last time around, I think focused too much on the "poor me" or "why me?" and this time I know why...I really needed this to see the beauty of the people I am surrounded with. Just as important this has helped me to see how important I am to everyone around me. I'm not sure if it is vain to say this, but I feel like I have been shown a path to enlightenment.

Chemo is scheduled bright and early at 8 am tomorrow. I have to have labs before chemo and we have to drop E off at preschool and Ella off at daycare, so it is going to be an early start. It seems weird to say that I'm ready and dare I say, looking forward to starting chemo. I don't want the cancer to win. I feel like I have the support network, the knowledge, and the tools to tolerate chemo better this time and I am going to take advantage of all of it.

Divine healing

My beautiful little girl needed some extra love and attention at approximately 3 am. She crawled over Geoff to me, poked me, and said "mama." Geoff woke up too, but I told him I had this one. I snuggled in with her only to realize that I needed to go to the bathroom. She sounded like she was asleep so I snuck off to the kids bathroom (at this point there was a dog sleeping in our bathroom). I no sooner closed the door and in walks Ella. She sat down on her little potty and we did the girls going potty together thing.

Then we went back to bed, but my mind was racing. Geoff ended up getting up to walk with Ella and handed me a book of affirmations. I read the page and reread it. There were a few interventions that stuck out included one about accepting divine healing.

This made me think it was time for a good long private talk with god. It was time for some intense praying. I had a lot of thoughts and words and just as soon as I could rattle them off, I could feel answers/solutions that came back to me. They gave me understanding and peace. I prayed for everyone I love that has needed extra prayers right now.

I have gone to church most of my life, but I have always considered myself to be more spiritual than religious. I have always prayed and appreciated prayers. I have always felt I have had an intimate and private relationship but until last night there was still some doubt.

That changed. I stepped across to full-fledged official follower. There was so much clarity and security. I feel like I was able to put it all in the hands of my Lord and ask him to help me, really help me. Thoughts came to me that I'm not sure I would have come to on my own, and I feel like I was asked what I really want and why that is the right decision for me, my family, and the world. What do I have to offer?...Don't worry I had lots to say about that one and I feel like I was listened to too. It was amazing. Honestly, it was a big like the sorting hat for you Harry Potter followers.

For those of you who aren't religious, don't worry this is probably about as religious as my blog will ever get. I'm happy to have an intimate relationship between me and God. That is what feels right for me.

Our weekend

Here a few photos from our weekend...These aren't the ones from Beth. These are just photos we took...All in all, it was a great weekend with family and friends. There was a lot of fun, laughter and love and I want to share that.

This photo was actually from last week but it was too cute

E and Granny (Geoff's mom) reading

Larry and Petunia

E and Grumps (Geoff's dad) playing Legos

Ella and Granny

The torch...It deserved it's own picture

Me with all the "frit" (colored pieces of glass used to add color and strength to the ornaments)

Me pouring frit

Close up of the frit in a pre-blown ornament

Geoff using his torch

Geoff blowing an ornament

A close up

One of Geoff's ornaments

Example ornaments

More examples of ornaments

Me getting ready to pull the kids down the tiniest hill ever

Action shot-hehe