Tractors

Day one of cancer denial went well. E has been feeling a bit off the last few days so instead of having a day completely to myself I decided to have a mommy and E day. Tuesdays were my chemo days and then they were internal radiation days. Today was my first Tuesday in months that I didn't spend the better part of the day at the hospital.

Since I originally planned a day of sleeping in, lounging, doing some homework and general laziness, I opted to still send Ella to daycare for the day. I felt pretty crummy about it, but at the same time I knew I wasn't up for being a mom of two today.

I was up most of the night last night. Geoff fell asleep and I just couldn't, so I read for awhile. Then I tried to go to sleep, but I didn't feel like sleeping so I read some more. At 3 am I decided it was time to just go to sleep, but I still couldn't sleep. Then I finally went to sleep at around 4:30 or 5 and an hour later Geoff's alarm went off and I was wide awake again. This isn't normal for me, but oh well it happens.

Geoff and I talked about the whole E staying home thing and decided if E wasn't awake on his own before Geoff left, then E would stay home. I knew Geoff would tell me to send Ella but I debated keeping her home too until she woke up, looked at me and started giggling. Geoff was in the shower so I had some quality Ella snuggling time, but then she was off and running. Ella doesn't do low key days well (yet), but E does so it all works.

E woke up a little after Geoff left and he wanted to snuggle so he came in our room and watched tv for a bit. Then we had breakfast and stayed in our pjs for an extended morning. We watched some more tv, read books, played toys and had a great time. Then we decided that it was time for an adventure so we headed to the toy store. I had a coupon for a specific brand of toys I wanted to use and I never take E to the toy store with me.

E picked out a tractor he really wanted and I told him that we would use it for a big prize in his potty treasure box. He hasn't been wanting to go potty again, but that tractor changed everything. He woke up from his nap and the first thing he wanted to do was go potty and it's been pretty consistent the rest of the night. I'm afraid we are going to have to keep bribing him for the rest of his life...at the same, it's fun. I loved going with him to pick out a toy at the toy store and watching him as he calculates how many times he is really going to have to go potty before he gets the "big prize."

I asked Geoff if he would mind making a run to Farm & Fleet with me for bird seed when he came home. I have um, sort of adopted a raccoon at my bird feeder. I haven't been keeping bird seed stocked, but when I did it was a gourmet blend and I decided that I should maybe cheapen it up a little. Ok, ok...it's actually a couple of raccoons and a possum but don't tell my neighbors ok? (sorry guys if you are reading this)

On the way to the store we stopped at the barn to check in on Aggie. She had just come in for the day and was eating her dinner. I of course, added a few treats so she would feel special, especially because we ended up fawning over the new pony, Lucky. I'm kicking myself for not taking pics, but he is adorable and really gentle. E and Ella were both excited to pet him and see him and E has continued to talk about him tonight. At the same time E was a little distracted at the barn because he got a present...his first pair of barn boots.

At first he seemed really excited and he let us get them on his feet to see if they fit, but just as we got them on his feet he declared they needed to be off. He was being 3. The funny part is that at home he wore them right up until he went to bed and then they had to spend the night next to his bed. (and according to Geoff part of the reason E wouldn't go to sleep for us tonight is that they made their way back into his bed...)

After the boots, E went outside with pretty much everyone else to go drive the tractor. He was pretty excited and giggling, but he didn't make it very long before he started crying and asking for Geoff. This is exactly the kind of behavior that led to him staying home with me for the day in the first place. It was odd, but oh well.

The funny part about today is that there was never any sort of planned theme to the day. I had randomly dressed him in his overalls this morning and he grabbed a brown tractor hoodie to wear as a jacket when we went out. Then we bought the toy tractor. Later we went to the barn and he got barn boots and drove the tractor. It seemed only fitting that when it came to pj time that he would wear his one pair of john deere tractor pjs. As I took the picture I self-consciously became aware of the farm rug in his room.

I'll admit I eventually would like a hobby farm and technically, I do have an agriculture degree, but I think tomorrow we might pick a different theme for the day. I'm not sure I'm ready to sign my kid over to the FFA (future farmer's of america) or to peg him as a dreaded "country kid."

Maybe tomorrow we will have a woodland theme day or in honor of Geoff's birthday we'll think of something more festive...We'll see. All I care was that today's theme wasn't cancer. And you know what? I felt better than have in months!

Today's cancer chain quote of the day:
"There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid." -Frederick W. Cropp