Peaked

After careful consideration I have decided to not get into the Lance Armstrong discussion at this time. Geoff and I are still passionate bikers at heart and the discussion is too deep and intense for me to convey in a few sentences. In order to for me to discuss Lance, there needs to be discussions about other the players and the sport of cycling in general. Not really something I want to use my precious blog time for at this time...The one thing I have to say is that despite anything else that may have or may have not happened, what Lance has done for cancer patients with his "Livestrong" Foundation will always make him a hero.

Moving on...

There was a day this week that I felt almost normal. This one day convinced me that I was doing much better and that I could resume normal activities. It was the next day that I made 10 dozen cupcakes (some were mixes and some were made from scratch) including 2 double batches of homemade fudge frosting.

I have also laundered just about everything I could find this week. All our clothes, sheets, pet beds/blankets, rugs, throw pillows, some bed pillows, and I don't know what else. I have been on a mission. I know what I haven't been able to do these past months and I'm afraid there is more coming. I had no chance to be prepared before, but this time I have convinced myself there are things I can do.

Our kitchen island is always cluttered. It drives me nuts, but I still put things there just like everyone else. This week I have attacked the clutter and removed more than half of it. I set a goal of by next week making 90% of it disappear.

I have set goals like this for just about every room of the house and just about every aspect of my life. I had every intention of cleaning everything, catching up on all my schoolwork while being super mom to the kids and the pets and superwife to Geoff. Yesterday all of this was starting to catch up on me, but I decided I could tough through this.

Then last night one of our dogs claimed my spot in the bed. She doesn't usually sleep with us, but she tore a toenail recently and she thinks she is dying so we have taken pity on her and let her snuggle with us. The problem is, Esther is about 90 lbs and spreads out to be at least 200. Then Ella decided to sleep horizontally across the bed and Geoff spread out too. So much for having a king sized bed. They left me a horizontal space that was just wide enough to sneak inbetween Ella and Esther and only the upper 2/3 of my body fit on the bed. I convinced myself that I was too tired to care and that I didn't want to disturb anyone. It was really stupid of me. I didn't sleep. This morning when Geoff got up to go to work, I needed to get up to get E ready for preschool, but I snuck into his spot for a 15 minute catnap. It didn't really help.

I was exhausted and sore all day. I was crabby and easily frustrated, but I kept going. I told myself I would take it easy, but like an addict I kept going at the same pace I have set for myself all week. Ella and I got a bunch done around the house while E was at preschool, then we ran errands. We picked him up, and Ella was asleep by the time we got home. I made lunch for E and myself and I finally sat down to relax. Then it all caught up with me. I ended up sick in the bathroom. Not once or twice either...

I decided to lay down while Ella was sleeping and E was playing quietly in his room. As usual E was fine and would let me know if he needed anything. Ella on the other hand, woke up and crawled out of bed while I was sleeping and I didn't even know. Thankfully E woke me up to let me know.

I got back up. I took meds and got E down for a nap. Ella was being great, but I realized that despite everything I couldn't do it. I couldn't stay warm. I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't take care of myself, much less Ella, so I called Geoff. He left work a few hours early and came home to rescue me/us.

He picked up the pace and took over where I left off. He helped me to get comfortable and rest. E had a fall family fun night at preschool tonight that we have talked up/promised all week and Geoff vowed to take both kids by himself and go. I had planned to attend with them and then go up to Madison for a farewell dinner for a friend of mine that is moving back home (her husband finished his PhD). I messaged my friend that I wasn't going to be able to make it tonight and that I would find another time to see her before she leaves.

In the end I went to the family fun night. Preschool is only a few blocks from our house and there was no time obligation. E wanted me to go and doesn't understand or deserve me not going because I don't feel well. Both kids had a blast and I was able to park myself in a chair or stand next to the bouncy house and take pics and talk to another mom/friend. Other than that I have stayed up with the kids, taken a bath and made sure that Esther has the most comfortable bed in the house tonight. Seriously.

Cancer chain quote of the day:

"I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me." -King David