C is not for cookie...: Blessings

Something I have learned through all of this is that each day really is a blessing. Of course there are times I loose sight of this or need gentle redirection. Fortunately for me gentle redirection frequently comes in the forms of phone calls, mail, and visits.

I have always liked getting mail. Don't we all? Christmas cards have always been a favorite for me. This is ironic because I am notoriously terrible at getting ours sent out (that being said I am great at getting them done...I have the cards that I meant to send from the last couple years still here...thinking I might send them with this years). Cancer sucks, but one of the perks of all this is that I have an amazing network of family and friends who support me with mail of all kinds.

I check the mail each day with great enthusiasm. Today there were two cards. One was from one of my greatest all-time friends and one was from one of my former co-workers at UW. Both cards gave me such happiness. Yesterday another friend of mine sent a package filled with candy (in case I needed something to stimulate my appetite or if Geoff needed a pick-me-up) and a Halloween book for the kids and a non-school, fiction, fun-to-read book for me. One of my classmates has been sending cards to Geoff and I through this whole process. Enough that I have actually lost track of how many cards she has sent overall.

I think back to all the money people wasted on cards when I was kid. All the birthday cards that I only looked at because my parents made me look at the cards before I opened the presents. Now as an adult, I treasure each and everyone of the cards. My cancer cards are one of my most cherished possessions. I have sat with Geoff and my mom and a few other people who are able to appreciate the thoughtfulness and shown them each of my cards.

These cards currently reside in a decorated mailer envelope next to my bed. I think I'm going to have to upgrade to a memory box. I feel a like a hoarder for keeping all of them, but I can't help it. They are wonderful. There is so much love and support in each and every card. The words that people have written give me strength to keep going and to know that eventually life will have a new normal. These little pieces of paper remind me that I'm not alone in all of this. I never have been.

This week has been both easy and hard if that is possible. It has been easy in that I haven't had to go to the hospital. I haven't had to juggle appointments and kids. I haven't had to deal with port issues or get tattoos I never wanted. The hard part is that I'm not actively doing anything to kill cancer anymore. I'm waiting. I have never been a patient person or a good patient, and now I have to be a patient patient. Even though there is a part of me that wants to know what is going to happen on Monday morning, there is more of me that thinks no, thank you, I have enjoyed this week.

Initially I started this week sick from residual effects of treatment. I am run down and tired, but the freedom from treatments really brought my spirits up. The last few days my energy levels have been up too. Yesterday was Geoff's birthday and inbetween trying to do a million loads of laundry, catch up on school work, make birthday cards with the kids and everything else, I baked about 10 dozen cupcakes. Some for Geoff's work. Some for preschool and daycare. Some for our housekeepers that came today and our vet who was kind enough to make a house-call. Today I had a similar personal schedule and I am officially exhausted and I hurt.

Tomorrow Ella is home all day with me and E is home after am preschool. I am looking forward to sitting and playing with my kids. I am going to take it easy and enjoy each blessing of the day. Hopefully we'll have time to send mail to some people to brighten their days. I definitely planning to take a nap if at all possible too...a blessing that I frequently forget to take advantage of.

Cancer chain quote of the day from yesterday (I fell asleep before writing my blog post) and today:

"We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight like Hell." -Lance Armstrong (ironic that this is the one that came up for yesterday...might have to have more words about this tomorrow)

"Be nice to to people, you never know what they may be going through. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

I can't help but include a few pictures of blessings from this week...