Overwhelmed

Things seem to have shifted since all of this began. I had anticipated that the worst of it all would be while I was getting treatments, but that hasn't necessarily held true.

I can't decide if I'm feeling better overall now, or during treatment. Probably now, but the hands/feet thing is still driving me nuts. I'm more exhausted than I was and I'm still nauseated plenty of the time. My food choices have changed and some things just don't taste the way they used to.

I really really want to live like I'm cancer free, but my body is still trying to heal from all the toxins and it frequently reminds me that it isn't ready to do all the things that I think it should be able to do.

With small kiddos, a zoo, and a torn apart house this makes things hard. Then factor in that I'm behind in school and trying desperately to catch up. People keep telling me to take time off, but this is all I have right now. I need to keep going or my chemo brain will take over.

It will all work out. It always does, but right now I can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to sleep and I need to get homework done. I need to get caught up so I can start working ahead. It's the only way I can figure to manage surgery into the mix.

For now though, I'm going to prioritize that sleep.

Cancer chain quote of the day:

"Don't tell God how big your mountain is...tell the mountain how big your God is." (weird how these quotes always seem to apply)