Dear Resident

Dear Resident on-call,

When I called this morning to talk to you about Neupogen injections cramping my style, I tried to not to melodramatic. Apparently, I failed. I do hate the injections! I have only had two and both times I have woken up with raging headaches the next day. Something not normal to me, but is a known side effect of Neupogen.

Yes, I told you I threw up this morning; however, I think a few more questions may have been warranted before you decided that I should drop everything and rush into the emergency dept. Be glad that I am crabby and stubborn and make you reevaluate your plan because it would not have been a pleasant encounter for anyone (ok, now I'm just talking tough, because I know I probably would have still been nice)...

Regardless, one of the skills that healthcare professionals need to learn is assessing the value of what their patient is telling you and how they are telling it to you. Yes, I got right to the point. Yes, I told you I am having raging headaches and throwing up, BUT again, more questions should have been asked. I am a nurse. I am used to calling MDs and telling them what they need to know. I know how to filter out the unnecessary, and even though it isn't intentional I still do it when I am the patient. Actually, I'm probably more inclined to do it when I am the patient because I just want to deal with the problem.

I don't blame you for not picking up any clues to this in my scenario, but seriously telling me to drop everything and drag my miniature monsters to the ED for what we both know would be an eternity...not cool.

So I'm glad you decided to take a little more time and look things up and call me back when I started bitching (ya, I wasn't going to say that, but it's true...I was bitching) about having to come in. Probably, my "are you serious? Really? Really, you really think you need me to come in for this? Can't we talk about this more?" helped make you reevaluate and tipped you off that I was not going to be the most desirable patient.

Anyway, I'm glad you came up with a plan of alternating nausea meds on a schedule and continuing with pain meds. I would have done all that anyway.

I'm frustrated because I don't feel like we ever talked about these damn injections, other than I should keep taking them. I wanted to know if I have any options after this round, or am I stuck to this misery indefinitely. I'm glad you reassured me that I should take them so I can continue to feel better, and travel, and whatever, but hey, I think you missed the point where I said I was doing fine other than these injections, soooooo....addressing my concerns might have been a good idea.

I've tried telling myself that they don't make me feel crappy. Actually, at my husband's suggestion I told myself they give me super human powers (don't judge!), but the reality is, I am going to spend every day for the rest of this cycle dreading bedtime and the morning after.

Worse yet, now I have someone hanging "direct admission" to the hospital over my head. I'M NOT SICK! Everyone will be miserable if I am admitted. No joke. I will be that patient who is ready to go home before I get there. I am fine. I don't want Neupogen, that's all. I'll take it until I talk to someone who will actually help me find some alternative option or talk me into the benefits, but right now, I don't want Neupogen. That is NOT a reason for admission.

I do not have fevers. I am not lethargic. I am not dehydrated. Oh and on that note...I threw up once. That does not warrant having to drink disgusting pedialyte for the rest of my day. That is a sure way to get me to throw up more. I told you I was able to drink juice and keep it down after. I told you I can eat/drink whatever I want. Pedialyte is not necessary. Really.

Ok, I'm going to move on with the rest of my day now. I'm going to go back to playing with my kids and doing homework. Sound like I should be in the hospital? I'll probably go outside, and ooooh, I might go all out and get a donut (I'll post a picture to Facebook later). No I will not be washing it down with pedialyte.

Thank you for your help. Have a great day!

Ginny
(the crabby gyn-onc patient)