$20.

When I was in college and beyond (I had to write a thesis for my undergrad degree and procrastination for this amongst other things may have stretched longer than it should have) my parents were kind enough to help me with as much as they could. Sometimes I wonder if they helped me too much, but honestly, I hope to be able to do exactly the same for my own kids.

My mother worked to pay my rent. I worked too, but my parents wanted me to live in neighborhoods that were safer than most of my jobs would have afforded me. They would stock my fridge when they came to visit. My mom always had some surprise that she had bought me and she generally spoiled me.

My dad has words about all of this at times. He likes to pretend they were too soft on me and I asked for too much, but he was just as bad as my mom. There was a stretch of 5+ years when I was getting started on my own that every time my dad would visit he would hide money somewhere in my home/townhome. Sometimes it would be a $20. folded up and tucked neatly under knick-knack, sometimes it was tucked into a book, or the grand-mother clock I inherited from my grandparents, or often there would be some amount tucked in a picture frame. There were standard places that he "usually" hid money and then there were the obscure, random places, but if I called my mom and told her I was struggling with money I would usually get a phone call back a few minutes later with some random clue like "the duck has money" and I would have to search through all the rubber duck paraphernalia in my bathroom to find out where he hid the money. Sometimes it would be multiple clues so I could find $5. here and $10. there.

As I said this went on for years. When I went back for nursing school my mom was supportive, but my dad was pretty ticked at me. I remember multiple discussions about how much it was going to cost and how I was going to pay for it all. My mom made sure I knew that she would help in any little way she could and I put on my big girl pants and said I can do this. It didn't take long before my dad was back to his old tricks, but by this point I didn't need the help quite as much.

One of the last times I remember my dad doing this was when I graduated from nursing school. Someone gave me a frame for graduation and I framed my first nursing license. A few months later I found out there was a $50. tucked neatly into the back of the frame. I treasured that $50. and vowed to never spend it. Sometimes I would open up the frame and look at it, smile and put it back.

A few years ago I did have to spend it. It hurt at the time and I struggled with alternatives, but I remember knowing it was the right thing to do. Overtime I have realized I didn't really need that $50. to be there. To me it will always be there. It really was the thought that counts. It still makes me smile to pick up that frame and peek in the back even though I know there isn't anything there.

Today we went to church and afterwards took E down the hall to Sunday School. Then we headed back to sit and talk or play games. We each glanced around only to realize there were no empty tables or couches. We decided to ask if we could share a table and approached an older couple. They smiled and introduced themselves and suddenly we found ourselves in a pleasant conversation with them.

It didn't take long before cancer came up. It was a mere blip in our conversation, but next thing I knew they had quietly slipped us a $20 and told us to get lunch on them. I've never met these people before. I didn't do anything for them. Once again I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.

This has been a hard week. There were a few unforeseen financial complications, but the worst was Geoff's work realized after an audit that they had never taken money from his paychecks last year from our dependent care account (aka daycare flex fund). We had started our dependent care account about the same time as I started treatment so we didn't notice and now we owe $3000. His work was wonderfully supportive about letting us pay it back over time, but we don't have any the extra wiggle room in our budget right now so Geoff asked to borrow money from his parents. All of this sucked for Geoff the most.

Meanwhile I have tightened up our budget. I've been a crazy about cutting out unnecessary spending and couponing. Our frivolous spending for the weekend was spending $1.52 on balloons to play indoor balloon tennis/soccer/etc. to help the kids burn off extra energy.

Geoff gets paid again in a couple days and that will help, but for this weekend we really had no financial freedom. The surprise $20. reminded me of the money my dad would hide for me in college and how much it would save my butt. I feel fortunate to say that I used to need that $20. to buy groceries or to put gas in my car (I used to be able to fill up my car for $10...crazy!), but this time I have a full tank of gas, and a fridge and deep-freezer full of groceries. We have all the basics we need and then some (thanks to many of you!).