but these past few weeks I've had intentions of wrapping gifts, baking, cleaning, and general productiveness once the kids are in bed...usually, with no luck. I can barely drag myself to bed after we tuck the kid's in...
I've thought about writing at nap time, but for the most part it's been the same story. Everyday I think I'm going to get some of "my" things done at nap time and I just can't do it, I pass out. There was even a day last week when I told E he could nap with me, but I fell asleep before him. I had told him he could snuggle with me in bed and we would watch a little tv, but I fell asleep and he kept watching...the whole afternoon. I knew I didn't have the energy to convince him to take a nap, so I just went with it.
Today was no exception. I woke up this morning to the sounds of E playing in his room with my dad. They were playing with some of the presents E received from our family Christmas last night. I was anticipating a 3 year old that would be busting to get downstairs to see what Santa had left, but E was completely content to play with a few of the presents from last night (many were still downstairs). Meanwhile, Ella and Geoff were still sleeping and it was 9 am. I know, 9 am. Kids don't sleep until 9 on Christmas!
I got up and took the dogs outside and went to E's room to see for myself if he was actually having as much fun as he sounded like he was having. He was. Then I took a shower and got dressed. By that point Geoff and Ella were awake so we went back to E's room and finally we said something about seeing what Santa brought...The kids were appropriately adorable and funny. At a year old, E barely unwrapped presents, but Ella tears into them with a vengeance. Meanwhile E wants everyone to open everything as fast as possible (he'll EVEN "help") because then he can scope out everything to see what he wants to play with most.
By 11am I was dragging and by 11:30 I was in bed for a nap. I slept for a few hours. When I got up Ella was just finishing up a nap and everyone was working on trying to get E moved towards a late nap. I said good-bye to my parents and brother and then helped to tuck E in for his nap. Then before he was even asleep I was laying back down for another nap. I'm not sure which of us fell asleep first, but again I slept for a few hours.
E on the other hand, had skipped a nap yesterday and stayed up way too late last night so we let him nap most of the afternoon. We did eventually wake him up just before 7pm, but for the first time in I can't remember how long, Geoff and I had enough time to watch a movie without a 3 year commenting on every aspect of it. Ella enjoyed the time with just the two of us, and we enjoyed the extra cuddles.
It really was a wonderful holiday. All of it. I'm sad I haven't had the energy to blog these past few weeks because this Christmas has been everything we needed it to be. It was sweet and genuine. Seeing all the magic through the eyes of our kids made it better than anything I could ever imagined. In fact to quote the Facebook status of one of Geoff's college friends, "Everyone should have a 3 1/2 year-old at their Christmas. Joy, joy, joy." It is so true! Add a 1 year old to the mix and well, you get the picture.
On the other hand, an unexpected difficult part of the holiday for our family was saying good-bye to our elf, Alfred. His last day with us was yesterday before he headed back to the North Pole for his vacation. He was kind enough to leave us a good-bye letter, but daily searches to find Alfred and see his latest antics will be greatly missed by us all. I think I may actually be the saddest about Alfred leaving, but it's not because of his powers of "watching" everything the kids do. Alfred is really just a great example of the magic of our household this past month. The hardest part for Christmas for Geoff and I though, is always the evening after everyone has left. Four years ago when I was pregnant with E, we had to put our beloved dog, Chester, to sleep. He had been struggling with lymphoma (a form of Cancer) and it was once all the hustle and bustle died down that we really realized it was time, really time. Up until that day he was happy to follow us around and sleep at our feet and medication kept him comfortable, but that evening we realized he could no longer follow us around or get up on his chair. He just laid on the floor and looked at us.
It was Christmas so our vet clinic was closed. As was every other normal vet clinic. In the end we had to go to the emergency clinic on the other side of town because even the emergency clinic by us was closed. For us that will forever be a part of our Christmas memories. There is always a painful part of the day that we try to find a way to respectfully avoid, but we can't. We always make it a point to honor the memory of Chester on Christmas. We never go for a ride because at least for me, it always reminds me of that miserable car ride with the roads to ourselves and everything closed.
Almost two years ago, when I was again pregnant, we had to revisit that same emergency clinic. At the same time of day and even the same room. This time it was for our other dog, Jeffy. A dog that I had since he was only 2 months old. At the time he was 12, but it was a young 12. We were dropping him off for IV fluids and observation while I was at work for the night because his chronic stomach issues (ulcers vs. pancreatitis) were flaring up. We never expected that he wouldn't be coming home again, but he didn't. We ended up in that same stinking emergency clinic and the same exam room to say good bye to my original baby.
There's more that ties into this for me...like the year before we moved to Madison my first ever cat, also Jeffy's best friend (and mine), had to be put down at an emergency clinic at Christmas time. (ok, ok, so he was actually my FIRST baby, but he would bite me if ever called him that, so...).
I'm sure everyone has sad moments and memories for Christmas and these are some of ours. We each have other loved ones that we miss and think about, but the loss of Chester on Christmas was a hard one for Geoff and I. It was a very painful loss for us together on a day that had always been happy before. Fortunately for us, all of our Christmas's since then have involved happiness and magic that only children bring, but this year the memories have been bittersweet. It hasn't escaped me that I am fortunate enough to be here and cancer free for this Christmas, while it was in fact cancer that took our Chester from us four years ago. He was a difficult dog that many people didn't understand, but he was family to us.
All of this has made me think about everyone else that has loved ones, 2 and 4 legged, that are suffering right now. I think about how lucky we all are to have others in our life; even though, often it seems too short. I think about how lucky we are to have the ability to recall memories, take pictures/videos, and tell stories. Most of all though, I think how lucky we are to be able to make sure that every moment counts and to always tell everyone how much they mean to you.Merry Christmas Everyone!
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