Answered prayers

As I mentioned in my previous post, waiting for my scan today was nerve racking. I did manage to sleep last night, but woke up at 4am to go to the bathroom. In reality this was perfect timing because I was NPO (nothing per oral...aka no food) for 6 hours before my scan. Just in case I woke up before my food cutoff I had put some graham crackers next to the bed (next time I will go with something more sustaining such as almonds...but whatever, I was pleased I had even thought of it). I took the opportunity to eat a few crackers and drink some water and then went back to sleep.

The advantage of having a later scan was that we could sleep in  until our kiddos woke us up. The disadvantage is that I had to help everyone with their breakfasts while I was hungry and starving. I even ended up making a quick run to the grocery store which seemed a little unfair considering how hungry I was.

Then Geoff and I left for UW. I'm not sure I even mentioned it here, but I did end up getting my scan scheduled in the scanner that I like better. I already had multiple reasons for liking that scanner better, including the people. They are so nice. As soon as I arrived I was taken down to the dungeon (seriously the scanner is below ground). I had an IV placed and I was given the radioactive isotope that is used for the scan. Then I sat in a darkened room for a half hour. I was pretty anxious but I used the opportunity to pray and meditate and actually fell asleep. I woke up just as the tech came in to tell me it was time to wake up and drink the contrast for my CT scan.

All my paperwork said I was having and PET/CT and I just ignored the CT scan part, but whatever, I didn't really care. It's all done in the same scanner. I normally hate drinking contrast and I can't say today was much more pleasant, but I was so hungry I initially welcomed the idea that I got to have something. Also, I didn't have to drink liters of the crud, so I can't really complain. I had about twenty minutes to drink nearly a liter, then I had a quick bathroom trip and it was off to the scanner for my PET scan.

The scan took "24 minutes." As it was going I figured out that I moved every 3 minutes so apparently my body was divided in 8 sections...I might have been 7, I'm not sure...initially there were a few full body scans that were quick. It started with my lower body (this is pretty normal) and my head outside of the far side of the scanner and eventually my head was in the scanner and my feet were outside.

Again, I have many reasons I like this scanner better...I had a few bad experiences in the other scanner, including my last PET scan...the "bad" one. Also, they play music and I have options including Pandora, Satellite radio, cds in the good scanner...I chose satellite and they put on "today's best hits." Not my favorite, but definitely better than nothing. At about 15 minutes in, "What doesn't kill you" by Kelly Clarkson started playing. I had never heard the song before a friend put this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaQdwTsVtCY  on my Facebook page awhile back, but ever since it has been something I relate strongly to. I immediately felt it was a good omen. Really. I let out a deep sigh, cried a little, and then just chilled for the remainder of the scan.

After my PET was done the techs were nice enough to let me sneak off for another quick bathroom break. I asked how long the CT scan was going to take and I was told a total of 10 minutes. That was about right. The longest part was getting my IV hooked up for contrast. Then they lined me up with the lasers and I had a few "Breath in. Hold your breath. Breathe out." (mostly said by a very mechanical sounding voice) commands while the scanner took images of my abdomen. A few minutes in I was told it was time for the contrast. As an old pro they knew I knew this meant I would have a warm flush sensation that they usually describe as feeling like you "peed your pants." Overall it's a fairly good description, but it doesn't make me worry that I peed my pants. Actually, I was glad for the warm flush sensation today because my arms were exposed and held over my head during all the scans and I was kind of sleepy and cool at this point.

When I was done, I couldn't resist asking the techs if they see the images. Ok, I know they do, and I know they can't tell me anything (I acknowledged this), but I was just curious to what extent. What I was really curious about is do they see this scan in comparison to my last scan and they don't. I debated asking, but when the techs asked me how old my kids were and then kind of looked down when I told them the ages, I decided I would ask. I threw out that my last scan really sucked and I saw one of their faces light up. I'm not sure she realized that I was paying so much attention, but maybe she did. I'm sure I'm not the first.

By the time I was done with my scans and got back upstairs to the waiting room to reunite with Geoff I was already 10 minutes late for my oncology appointment. We hurried over and checked in. I was taken back to a room pretty quickly and asked the required million questions. Then the medical assistant took my vitals. She took my BP and told me it was 150/70. I had watched while she took it and I'm pretty good at guessing/seeing what it is and that was not the reading I got. Also, I have only had a blood pressure that high once in my life and I was very much in the middle of a contraction at the end of giving birth to E. She tried again. I read 108/60. She told me 150/60. Personally, I still think she was wrong and am kind of annoyed that her reading is in my chart, but whatever, some things I just need to let go. Alright, I'll admit it. I really wanted to take it myself...but I'm letting it go, now. I swear.

I played Candy Crush on the ipad for a few minutes and our PA came in to tell us the results weren't back yet, but she would let us know as soon as she heard something. They were doing a "stat read" on my scan. Maybe 20 minutes later she came back and Geoff and I knew immediately it was good.

The final results weren't in yet, but according to the preliminary results, there was no new growth and all the existing sites had regressed. PET scans look for areas of hypermetabolic activity which shows up as bright white areas. I had three lymph node sites in my neck originally that were very hypermetabolic, but now only one was glowing and even that was significantly less. The PA tried to explain the significance of all of this to us, and we asked if this means the cancer cells are dying. Her answer? "Basically, yes."

So this means I will continue on my current treatment plan. I leave tomorrow for my conference in Nashville as planned and I will come back on June 3rd (late) so that I am home for chemo on the 4th, 5th, and 6th. I will have another oncology appointment as usual on the 4th and we will talk more about the scan because we will have the final results and then in a few weeks I have an appointment with my actual oncologist and my beloved NP (assuming she is willing to leave her beautiful babe and come back to work).

In the meantime, I'm going to keep working on making better choices in my life and fighting harder. I am more determined than ever that I can do this and there are so many more things for me to try. For now though, I need to finish packing.