Mother's Day

Holidays and milestones take on a whole different meaning when there is that realistic possibility that it might be your last. It's not that any of us really think that this will be my last Mother's Day, but it is impossible to completely tell your brain to be quiet when you know you have stage 4 cancer.

My family is my life and the idea that I won't be here as my kids grow up hurts and scares me more than anything. Really.

I can't imagine growing up without my mom. Those of you who really know us, know that we drive each other nuts at times. At the same time, we both adore each other and rarely go a day without talking.

I expect to have the same relationship with my children. There just is no other option...but sometimes I don't get to make the choices...

So, I got to sleep in today...and I have to be honest, it was really more of a Mother's Day weekend for me. Yesterday we went to a couple knitting shops that we both wanted to check out, but mostly because I was looking for a certain color combination. We also went to a plant sale and ran some other errands, and finally I went to one of my favorite garden centers and bought annuals for myself and my mom (a mother's day tradition for us).

Then today after sleeping in and getting breakfast in bed, we checked out an Estate sale and a cute little pottery/garden shop, and then went to my other favorite Madison garden center. Of course there were a few more plants that needed a good home. I was on a mission to find seeds or a plant of a type of zinnea I saw on Pinterest, but no such luck, so of course I settled for some other options.

I was also spoiled by Geoff and the kids with Dahlias that they bought at the Badger State Dahlia Society plant sale while I was in Kentucky. In addition to all the Dahlias, I was spoiled with multiple daycare/preschool art projects (one unfortunately and tragically broke before making it to me, so E and I are going to attempt to recreate that tomorrow morning before I go to work in the afternoon). I was also given a fully paid (gratuity included) one hour massage by my wonderful husband, in addition to a few fun little surprises such as a scratch off lottery card.

The big surprise of the day though was the gift from the director of E and Ella's daycare. Last week she slipped Geoff a gift bag for me at the end of one of the days. On the top of the bag was a wonderfully sweet card that expressed warm thoughts and Happy Mother's Day wishes, in addition to something about "Hats off to you!" Inside the bag was stuffed full with bandanas, scarves, a pashmina, a floppy gardening type hat, a baseball hat, a stocking hat, and another trendy hat, in addition to a Pizza Hut gift card (she obviously knows our kids love pizza). I was at a complete loss for words. Completely unexpected and it was one of those gifts that just kept going and going and was more and more fun. I have another friend who sent me a package of bandanas and head gear when I donated my hair, and an aunt who sent me a box of hats. I didn't expect any those gifts, but this just blew me away. The kids had a blast going through the bag with me and before I knew it we were having a silly hat party (of course Ella was wearing the flopping gardening style hat).

Another surprise of the weekend was Geoff won a door prize at the plant sale and ended up giving me a $10 gift card to another gardening shop I have never been to. He's been there and says it's fun, so I'm excited to check it out.

It really felt like a decadent weekend. I was spoiled with whatever I wanted for food...well, in theory anyway. We weren't home enough to cook anything elaborate or to go anywhere really fun. So in actuality, it was some Subway and treats today, but still...I loved it.

After mentioning to Geoff yesterday that I would like a pergola on our deck instead of the privacy panels that have always been there, Geoff made it his mission to make me a pergola today. In the end all my garden center shopping took up too much time, but plans are drawn and we have done a scouting trip for price comparison of materials.

At the end of the day I realized I had $10. Kohl's Cash that was due to expire today so I took that and another coupon and headed to one of the stores to take advantage of free shipping and order a picnic table for the kids that we have been debating for a long time. We decided to put that away for Ella's birthday in July, because we were contemplating joining everyone else in our neighborhood and giving in to the trampoline craze for E's birthday on the 22nd.

On his 2nd birthday we rented a bounce house and we were considering doing it again, but we really could only do one or the other and decided if we take care of it the trampoline will give us many years of use, so right now it was the better choice. I checked with one of our neighbors to find out where they had bought theirs and ended up finding it on sale for 50% off through today only, so of course we bought that too. Technically both of these things are "shared" presents but each kid will get one of them on their birthdays in addition to a few other things I have squirreled away over the last year...some of which I am dying to give them!

On the way to Kohl's E saw a carnival in the mall parking lot. Geoff and I both groaned and debated whether this was something we wanted to give into. In the end we both decided it was worth it and took the kiddos to ride the one and only ride they both could ride, the carousal.They were both ecstatic until they were actually on their horses. They have ridden them before, but inevitably one or both always gets scared at some point. Tonight was no exception. It didn't matter though. They were blissfully happy after that one ride and so were we. It was the perfect ending to my day.

I'm excited for my pergola which maybe I'll have next weekend and I had a wonderful Mother's Day, but perhaps the greatest gift of all was knowing that I have great gifts to give to my kids for their birthdays this year. No matter what happens it will be a year of wonderful milestones and hopefully that will just become our pattern...Living each day (esp. important ones) like they could be your last...

(Of course next year it would be nice if we could be with our moms too...but I will see mine tomorrow and Geoff's is moving back to the US in next couple weeks, so soon enough...)